I went in blind. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what would come out of this. I didn't know how silly I would look. I didn't think I would know how to converse with you. I didn't know anything. I went into this entire situation with the mindset that nothing was going to come out of it, because I'm not that interesting of a person, and because no one wants to deal with anything I've got to offer, and that no one has time to try and make things work, and let's be real, I'm just weird. I didn't know that you'd end up becoming such a large part of my day, where my day only starts when I see you. My nights only end when I hang up for our last conversation. I know it's sudden, but it's so crazy. It's all happened so fast.
I remember being afraid to swim in deep, dark waters. I remember always hesitating to leave the area where my toes could no longer touch the bottom of the floor. I liked the security of being able to go under for a little, but be able to push myself back up because I wasn't "in too deep". With relationships, it's just gradually gotten to that. Shallow, non-intimate conversations. Never touching, never showing emotions, always trying to fight to stay together, but ended up getting pushed away even more. It was like fighting with currents that were trying to drown me, rather than push me back to shore. Then one day, I finally decided that I wouldn't know if I could swim if I hadn't tried. I ventured off into the deep end. Slowly, but surely I made my way out to find that the best thrills in life are when you leave the security net that you clung to. I found you, and I dove right into it all. Vulnerable. Knowing that I could get hurt, but not letting that stop the thrill of falling being engulfed by everything you had to offer. Whether you decide to let me sink or float is up to you, either way, I'm already in it, so it's your move. You deserve the best, because I'm only willing to give you the best.
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