6 months ago, I had so many different emotions running through me as I boarded the plane to move to Europe. I was excited because I was going to a country I called home for nine years. I was nervous because I was going to start my career as a nurse. I was torn because I was leaving my family and my (now) husband behind. Given the circumstances that I had left earlier in the year and I had already said my "see you laters" to them, it hurt just as much the second time around. When I arrived, I felt like I knew everything about being here, but I also felt lost. Have you ever had that feeling before? The feeling that you're familiar with a place, but it's not quite the same as it was before? You know the names of places, but you don't know how to get there. You know customs and courtesies, but you're still afraid to reach out and meet new people. Well, that's how I felt when I moved here six months ago.
Everything looked exactly the same from when I left here about 9 years ago. The airport that I'd drop my mom off at was a little bit bigger. There was a "mall" built next to it too. I don't remember it being so big though. The only thing I remember was going to the airport and crying either really sad tears, or really happy ones. When I went back to my elementary school, everything looked the same, but there were more fences, and gates, and you couldn't just hop the fence from my old house into the playground anymore. Yet the buildings were still there, and all I got were flashbacks of my childhood. Something that I thought I'd never get again. Becaue when I went back to Hawaii a couple of years ago, they tore down my old neighborhood. So I'm glad that I was at least able to see the neighborhood I lived in here. But back to present time, six months after my arrival, I find myself familiar with my surroundings. I no longer have to pull out my phone and use the GPS to go buy groceries. I've figured out what I like to buy from an American store versus what I like to buy from the economy. I know how long it takes me to get from my home to work when I'm running late in the mornings. I know when traffic is going to be heavy, but I know that my work hours never let me run into that problem anyway. I set my radio stations in my car. I have a running trail. My neighbors know my name now, and we occasionally pass by each other in the stairwell. I have my "go to" restaurants when people visit, and I know that they're always closed at certain times. I know where I want to get take out from when I'm too lazy to cook. I know which bakery has the best cheesecakes, and what ice cream stores have the best spaghetti eis. I'm no longer lost in translation with where I live. I've adapted, and I've grown into the comfort of my surroundings. I have made memories with my husband and my family here in the town I live in. It doesn't feel like it's just me going through this anymore. I have things to look back on and smile about. I'm thankful for the opportunity to make a home away from home. And even if I'm alone, I'm far from being lonely.
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This comes around every year and it usually takes me by surprise. There are some days where I don't think much about what's happened in my life in terms of adventures with my siblings, and there are days where I can't seem to think about anything else but that. I normally choose June 9, or July 15, or October 5 as my own little day of "memorial" but this year is different, I guess. I'm all about starting new this year, and I'm all about trying to remember the best of everything, and I pray that I wake up in good spirits every day. Some days are harder than others, like the three I've mentioned above, but most days are good.
After almost 10 years, I still have a difficult time coping with the question, "Jaclyn do you have any siblings?" The thoughts in my head go by very fast: "do I answer 1, 2, or 3?" "Do I tell them two of them aren't actually alive... or?" "What am I going to say if they ask where they are or what they do?" "Do I say I'm the oldest now, or...?" And after watching 13 Reasons Why last night, I couldn't help but go to sleep a little angry. Because I already didn't post anything about my siblings on this dreadful holiday, but partly because I thought that if my brother, David, left me cassette tapes and a planned mission like that, I'd actually be really pissed. Because that's just cruel and unusual punishment for those you leave behind. I've been putting off watching this Netflix series by myself, but now that I've seen a few episodes, it just made me angrier than it made me sad. The fact that the girl leaves cassette tapes for 13(?) different people, but not a note to her parents is also a really messed up thought. I'm glad that my brother at least wrote something for us down. I believe I was the last person my brother talked to. When he left our house, he left his phone, and none of his friends knew where he was, I'm pretty sure. But the last thing my brother told me was to tell all of our family and his best friends that he was sorry for what he was going to do, and that he was sorry he couldn't make us proud... Little did he know that he was the one person I really looked up to, so I kind of still hate him for leaving me in the wind. But I loved him, and I love him still. I'm still just a little mad that he went back on his word saying that suicide was for pansies... Anyways, after watching 13 Reasons Why, and spending all night thinking about him, I figured that I'd write something for this little sibling holiday. So sibling wise, we go from 3 to 2 and then almost 3 again. Three would have been my eenie, weenie, teenie sister-to-be, Annie. My mom would have called her Annie, personally, I thought Dani would have been a cuter name, because it would have included the "D" from David's name. I'd always wanted a little sister, but sadly enough, I wasn't granted that. We don't speak much about it, because it depends on how "real" she was to you. I know that to my mom, she was very much alive. To me, it feels like she was just a dream. Which surprisingly enough, I've always had a little girl in my dreams that is supposed to be my little sister, and she always appears around the same time that I have dreams of my brother. So maybe she is more real than I'd like to think. But losing her brings us down to 2. Myself and my kangaroo. My younger brother, Dennis or better known as Joey, is alive and well, and every time I look at what he's doing, I can't help but feel proud. I remember when we were much younger, I loved playing with him. I liked taking him to the park, but sometimes I'd get mad because he'd hurt himself and I couldn't pick him up because he was just a ball of flubber. Then when he started walking and talking, he became a real sassy pants. We'd have our fights and arguments, but that never stopped him from coming back to the blanket fort to eat cereal out of a bowl like a puppy. When I look at him, I still see that little baby. I still see the baby who would run to his older sister before he ran to anyone else. Now he's all grown up, has a girlfriend, and is making presentations on his career plans after high school. From someone that would chase me around the house on his motorized, toy motorcycle to someone who is now driving Linda the Land Rover... From someone who would only eat chicken nuggets to someone who can make me breakfast. I remember when he first started having crushes on girls, and now he's in love with his girlfriend. Seeing my brother emotional makes me emotional. Seeing him hurt, hurts me deep down inside because of what I've seen my other brother go through, and the thought of a recurring event scares me to the bones. Although I know my younger brother is much stronger than we all think, so I must give credit where credit is due. I just don't think I'm ready to watch him grow into a young man, cause he'll always be a ball of flubber in my eyes. Also, this year I was lucky enough to gain a sister-in-law, Haizel. I've always wanted a sister, but of course, I was not lucky enough to be granted that opportunity. But I have been lucky enough to have gained one another way. Haizel has become someone I've started to look up to. After I lost my older sibling, I kind of had to figure things out on my own through high school. "No help, no guidance. All on my own." Haha. So I'm very thankful for the role that she's played in my life, whether she knows that or not. Just having someone to talk to openly about things, and have someone give me advice (other than from my parents...) is really comforting. I know this blog train of thought is so scattered, but eh... Anyways, here's to siblings, gone or alive; blood or by bond. I love all four of them. I have always been a competitive person. I think every fiber in my being is built to fulfill the need to win. I think the mentality that I've developed since my school-age years, was a "sink or swim" one. Where if I didn't learn how to pull my own weight, then I'd get left behind, and I'd get left behind quickly. That's why when it came down to it, I always felt like I had something to prove. I never have been the one to back down from a challenge, and I've never been the one to turn in half ass work. I've always believed that if you're going to do something, then do it to the best of your abilities. Hence the emphasis on the 'your abilities' part. It wasn't until I reached my senior year in high school where I stopped trying to compete with everyone. Everyone was out getting scholarships and getting college acceptance letters - and there I was, still lost and confused on what to do with my life. Just to catch everyone up - I took a six month break after high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I was accepted to colleges of course, but I was still very unsure whether I wanted to go to them or not. There was something about living in Michigan that scared me because I didn't think Asians existed in Michigan, because what kind of Filipino would I be if I wanted to live knee deep in snow all of the time? Of course there was San Diego and Hawai'i, but would I really focus on school if I decided to go there? What about cost of living? How would that have been? I was afraid to leave my safety net, but I was still yearning to spread my wings. So month after month as I watched my newly graduated high school classmates start their first day of college and the photos of them settling into their dorms, I was at home, still figuring my life out. That's when I decided that I wanted to try and take up what career my brother had set down - so I attended culinary arts school at the Art Institute of Seattle. Obviously I could go on with the details of how I went from learning how to properly tourne a potato to have seven sides to injecting high risk drugs into people, but that's an entirely different story from where I was wanting to go. So back tracking to where I first started on the "your abilities" part and doing things at your pace. I meet a lot of people, especially in my career field, who are very competitive with each other with work and school, and even in their personal lives. When I scroll through Facebook, I always have to chuckle at the memes that say, "all my friends getting married, having babies, or buying house... and I'm over here like." (Enjoy the few I've selected below, heh). But anyways - who cares about what all of your friends are doing?! Life isn't a competition, and I've never understood the whole, "I'm going to get a car better than them all" or "my house is going to be bigger than everyone else's house - even though I only have four people in my family - I need the 7 rooms for activities!" You guys laugh, but it's true. People really do go out and try to one up each other in life. So you're out here competing with everyone else even though life isn't a competition, and you end up losing focus on yourself. You can't see that your progression is actually hindered by the fact that you've become obsessed with everyone else's progression. How much more do you think you could progress if you just put on temporary blinders to focus on yourself? JUST yourself. I'm not saying to be the shark that everyone is afraid of where you don't help others out or don't reach out for help yourself. But life is better if you make it a team effort. Don't make it where you focus on your progression and throw people under the bus to get to the top. I'm not saying to do that! (LOL no one like that person btw). Focus on your progression - while helping others grow to, and in return, they'll help you grow.
And don't compete with them. You don't have to get married because all of your friends are married. Maybe you have another goal (like extra schooling to further your career). Maybe your goal is to travel the world, and that's difficult if you start a family. And I'm not saying that you can't do all of these things at once. Of course in my case, I want to be the best nurse I can be along with being the best wife I can be, and in the future, be the best mom I can be. But I don't want to rush myself because all of my other friends are having their first or second kid. Because I know I'm most likely not ready for that. Your priorities don't have to be the same as everyone else's. Life gets hard when you start trying to do too much at once. Take on what you can handle, gradually build yourself up. End rant. P.S. I still have to remind myself about this every day - I'm definitely not perfect at this. I have days where I feel like I'm so far behind a lot of my friends because I switched colleges and whatnot... But when I look at my life, I'm doing really well. I have a great military career, and I have the most wonderful husband a woman could ask for. Next stop for me? BABIES. hehehe. When I was younger, I always thought that my proposal would be some grand gesture, and my wedding would be a big family event. I always imagined lots of flowers, a big wedding dress, and family flying in from all over the world to crowd my home. I can say now, that what I had envisioned before was completely different from what actually happened. Michael and I had talked about marriage before. There was always a plan that we were making, but nothing came of it because of our careers. We were never home at the same time, and the time was drawing short on his second deployment, and he wasn’t there when it was time for me to PCS to my first station. Distance always made things difficult for us, but somehow, even though we were separated, he’s always been the closest person I’ve been to. He came to visit in December, and it wasn’t until the last day where I asked him, “so what are we going to do?” There wasn’t any time left to get married then, and we hadn’t had the chance to tell anyone in our family, so we didn’t want to overstep ourselves. We looked at our calendars, and were lucky enough to find a week that both of us could take off to go get hitched. You can call it #SJElopeInCopenhagen. Make sure you say it in a Danish accent, well, more like a Viking accent. It’s much funnier that way. We decided together that we were ready to marry. I like to believe that Michael and I respect each other enough to make these big decisions together. Maybe some people think that it takes the “magic” out of the proposal, but I really liked how I could talk to Michael about how “ready” I was. After we got married, he told me that he was planning on proposing to me back in December, but before that, I told him that I didn’t know if I was ready. At that time, there was a lot of movement due to my big move from the states and getting settled into my career. When I told him that I was ready, he just laughed it off and kept telling me that we could’ve been hitched a long time ago. I really appreciate him for always taking into consideration how I feel about things. We didn’t have a long “engagement”. Actually, we were technically engaged for about 12 hours. We had decided that we were going to get married, but since there was no “real” proposal, we weren’t technically engaged. It all happened right before midnight on March 22. I was already sleeping, and he said he was going to stay up to build Legos. We were lucky enough to find a wedding set of Legos that we ended up using as our mini centerpiece. I had been sleeping for maybe half an hour, when he started bothering me about a piece that he couldn’t find and kept asking me to help him look for it. I was so tired. I was talking to him like he was my child, and that he had to try harder to find it by himself. It wasn’t until he started shaking my leg and whining (yes, whining!) about the “missing piece”. I sat up and took the instructions and the piece he was holding, and was annoyed because I didn't know what he wanted me to do. He then pulled out a ring and said, “I found the piece!” Okay, so maybe it’s the nerdiest proposal that I could have imagined, but I can’t say that I was surprised. I was honestly waiting for him to pull out a box made of Legos with the ring inside, but what he did was just as cute. 12 hours, that was our engagement. The morning of our wedding day, we got up early and went to breakfast. There will be more details on our trip in Copenhagen in another blog. We got ready in separate rooms like you normally would. I got ready in my mom’s room, and he got ready in his parents room. The entire time I was getting ready, my heart was racing thinking about how it was actually going to happen. His sister was running around all over the place trying to get as much photo coverage of our event, and I commend her for her all of the photos she took. I'm so happy she was able to surprise us and make it to our wedding. At 10:50 AM, me and my entourage of ladies walked to the Copenhagen City Hall. There, I met with my photographer Carolina, and she made me feel so welcomed, and something about her put me at ease. It was like someone was there for me who knew what to expect out of the day. It wasn’t until about 15 minutes later when I heard Michael’s voice from the floor lower than mine. I was starting to shake and hyperventilate because I was so nervous, but in a good way. As I made my way down the marble staircase, looking at him silhouetted by the bright window, I couldn’t help but start crying. I stopped on the third stair and called out his name. We both started crying, and we were both so awkward because we couldn’t kiss, and it was everything I expected it to be. Carolina gave us a few minutes to have a special moment with our families and then to ourselves. At 11:30 PM, Michael and I had made our promise to each other to remain the great team we are, and vowed our love to each other. My wedding wasn’t as smooth as I’d liked it to be because there were so many things that I had to keep track of from so far away. I felt like I was missing a lot of things, and it was hard to keep people on the same timeline, especially when we were all scattered throughout the city. But my wedding day was beyond amazing, because I got to marry my best friend. Now I can’t wait to see what opportunities and surprises my marriage is going to bring me. The finer details.Where I got my flowers: Cool & Cozy Florist in Copenhagen, recommended to me by Carolina. They were very kind to my husband and I. They were such delightful people who were very understanding, because we were about half an hour late picking up flowers, and they were ready to close shop. So we appreciate you very much! Who our photographer was: Carolina. A photographer born & raised in Copenhagen, and says that she has a love for elopements. She was very easy to talk to and helped us feel very at ease during our photoshoot. She was well prepared for any attire mishaps that happened. She helped guide our families in what to do. And she's just such a sweet person who understood mine and Michael's odd, quirky humor. Where we ate: My husband was able to book one of the top recommended restaurants in Copenhagen, called "Cofoco". We were served a four course meal with wine pairings, and even though the portions were small, we couldn't help but feel full at the end of the meal. Where we got our cake: My husband was also able to get a cake from Copenhagen's oldest bakery, La Glace. It is very well known for it's tea time, cakes, and pastries. We ordered a raspberry and chocolate mouse, with a macaron bottom layer. I'm so happy that we were able to share some with our waiter, and still bring home half of the cake to freeze for our one year anniversary. Our gallery is still being sorted, and will be posted soon! We're excited to show our photos!Mind your own (dxmn) business. There is one fool-proof thing you can do to be happy, and that is to bring back that phrase from your elementary school days and MYOB. Focus on building your own foundation. Don't try to include yourself in business you're not a part of. I find that it is very difficult for some people to do this. There are many people who really thrive off of the attention of others. There are also many people who like to know everything that is going on. Then there are people like me, who could really care less about what is going on. If it doesn't concern me, then I won't butt into it. I think I'm the kind of person who really only focuses on 3 things: what I'm doing to better myself, what I want out of my relationship, and what I want with family. Those are the only three things that I really think about. If you are my friend, and you need help, then I will reach out to you. If you are my friend, and you ask for advice, then I'll sit there and listen to you and give you advice if you need it. Other than that, I will go about my day, do what I need to do, come home, and call it a day. Don't try and interject yourself into business you're not welcomed into. That's where drama is created, that's how gossip starts, and that's how friendships are ruined. Know your boundaries with people. Don't be so concerned with what others are doing. I think this thought is coming from something that recently happened to me. I'm new to Germany (can I even say that? I've been here for four months)... and I haven't spent too much time telling people about myself. So it comes to my surprise when I hear someone is talking about my personal life like they talk to me on a personal, one-on-one basis. This is where I have a large problem. I was very upset at hearing this news, and I was furious for a couple of days. Then I sat and I thought about it, did my little meditation breathing exercise, and decided to not give it any thought. Because why waste my time being angry at someone who only wants attention? So ask yourself that. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Should you waste your time and energy being mad at someone who isn't benefiting your happiness? Or are you just going to keep on keepin' on being all happy and just brush it off? The only person who really knows you - is yourself. If you know that what you're doing is for your happiness, then who cares what others may think? I mean, don't go around doing things that could cause people to question your morals and values, that's never good, but don't live your life in fear. Don't live your life to please others that mean very little to you. If people who mattered were really concerned about you, they'd go directly to you and not to the people you know. Know the difference between concern and just being nosey. How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours. So again - stay focused on you and your small circle, and if there are people who want to talk about you and make you lose face, just remember that they're the ones losing face by gossiping. Don't stoop down to that level. Don't try to get even. The universe has it's own way of making sure people get what they put out. Everyone deserves to be happy. In my solid 24.5 years of living, I have found myself struggling with this thing called "happiness". The whole "don't worry, be happy" phrase is a lot easier said than done. So in this blog, I'm going to just list a few things that I know helped me get to know myself, and helped me find my own path to happiness.
Learn to be alone, but not lonely This is something I learned back in high school and reinforced during my first few years in college. When I was a senior in high school, I stopped hanging out with a large group of people and I did things on my own. I went from wanting to be a part of the crowd, to wanting to just observe the crowd. I traveled to places on my own, in a culture that I had no understanding of. The first time I had traveled in Japan on my own, I was very scared. This is going back to me not having a phone with internet capabilities to conveniently Google things. I walked around aimlessly, and I got lucky if I found places that I enjoyed. I also got very lucky if I found my way back home. There was something about being in a city booming with people, but not knowing anyone there. It's like everyone had one thing in common, we were all alone together, and that was our security. In college is where I reinforced my "be alone, but not lonely" mindset. I had my own apartment in Seattle and in Pullman. I loved being with friends, but there was no better feeling than going home to my apartment and just being by myself. It allowed me to think about everything that happened, and just be alone with my thoughts. Some times were more challenging than others, for instance, when I'd had a bad day. I wouldn't have anyone there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay, but I did have friends I could call on. I think every young adult has to experience living alone for at least a year. You learn to rely on yourself. You learn what you like and don't like. It's like those people who are still afraid to go eat out on their own. There is nothing wrong with enjoying something for yourself and by yourself. Disconnect from the world for a bit, and realize that what you do, is ultimately for you. The decisions you make take the biggest toll on you; and the way others react to is not something you have any control over. Have a "go-to" routine, but remember to do something fun On my days off, I normally do a short routine. I make myself breakfast and a good cup of coffee. When I work, breakfast is always something that is rushed and I never have time to enjoy it. So my days off, I spend a lot of my time in the kitchen cooking things that I can eat throughout the week. I clean on my days off. A lot of people resort to hanging out with friends a majority of the time, or going out and traveling. Right now, that's not in my best interest, so I do the one thing I know will make me happy (after) it's done. I clean my home. I've never been able to function in a messy space. When I see clutter around me, I feel like my surroundings are shrinking in on me, and then my thoughts get frazzled. Having a routine that you can resort to can help fill in the feeling of "I don't know what to do with my life right now". You don't have to make it a daily routine, or something you do every time you have a day off. It's just something that you can be like, "okay today is the day I do everything I need to get done, because I've been putting it off for the entire month" type of routine. (lol). Then there are those random days where I just want to go out and do something fun for myself. Like my last post when I went to Geierlay Bridge. It was a break in my routine, and I enjoyed the company of my friends while traveling. I personally don't need to be out doing something all the time, but having a day off doing something different can be a nice "recharge". It helps you form relationships and create unforgettable memories. You need that in life. Don't confuse my "learn to be alone but not lonely" spiel with you shouldn't hang out with friends, haha. Find a workout and diet that works for you We're three months into the New Year (so would it still be considered new?) and you may have slipped up on your diet and workout routine. I understand! There's a lot of motivation when January rolls around and you realize that Thanksgiving dinner is still sitting on your hips. I think body image is probably the biggest thing I struggle with. So in this section, I'm going to name a few major things that I know help me stay motivated to keep up with my diet/workout. Follow people that inspire you. Social media can work both in positive and negative ways. I used to follow a lot of "fitspo" instagrams of very thin, toned people. People who ate nothing but fruits and vegetables, and showed you 5 workout drills and claim that it'd get you "killer abs" and all of that. At first it motivated me because I'd be like, "oh yeah I want to do that." After awhile though, it'd make me feel bad about myself because I just didn't look like them and I knew I never would. (Slightly because it'd require me to get a boob job, and that's not something I'm interested in). So I stopped following those kinds of instagrams, and I focus on my own progress, and I follow realistic instagrams. (Realistic for me at least). I'm never going to be that girl who can lift 300 lbs or be brave enough to compete in physique stuff, so I stopped following them. Honestly, it was the best decision I've made. Be realistic with what you eat. I've seen a lot of my friends and family (mostly my mom) start doing crazy fad diets like juicing, or going vegan, or even just vegetarian. Transitioning to diets like that in a short amount of time can be dangerous (mostly the juicing one). Before you decide to take on that major life change, do your research. If you're someone who eats steak, burgers, and a lot of chicken for your meals, don't try and switch to being vegetarian overnight. Ease your way into those diets. Make sure you consult with a doctor beforehand so you know what to eat to ensure you get everything you need. Vitamins, minerals, electrolytes, proteins and all! :) Also - I eat one treat a day, whether it's a cookie, or a belgian waffle with my morning coffee. I don't deprive myself of something I love, because that's just mean. Moderation is key, people! Do a workout routine that you enjoy. I hate running. I really, really hate running. So I have to find out how to do cardio in another way other than running. I also hate the routine of lifting weights. I give mad props to those who can go into the gym and do the same routines over and over, but I can't do that. So I resort to body weight workouts, or dumbbell/kettle bell/medicine ball workouts, pilates, and yoga. I have fun doing my workouts, so it gives me more incentive to go back and do it every day. Why working out is on my road to happiness: Overall health. I feel better about myself and the physical results I see. but I also feel better inside knowing that I'm not eating a lot of junk food. I feel good knowing that I am taking care of my body, because I've seen what not taking care of your body could do. Meditate, or at least take time to breathe This is something that I've had to learn to do. I started off with a couple of minutes a day, then I increased it to longer intervals. I know that there are days where I feel like I don't even have the time to breathe. I think people mistake other moments for their "breathers" like driving to/from work. That doesn't count. Your mind has to be paying attention to absolutely nothing. It should be able to just run it's own course. I'm not going to lie and say that I go to church every Sunday at 9 AM. My work sometimes doesn't allow for it to happen. I know that a constant worry of my mom's is that I'm "not close to God". I remember her coming into my room raising this concern, but I don't think she understood what I meant. I'm not a fan of constructed prayer and worship. Don't get me wrong, I'll go to church (happy Ash Wednesday btw), but I find that I 'connect' best with Him, when I do it my own way, in a place I'm comfortable in. So most weeks I don't dedicate that one hour to Him in church, but I know I dedicate more than one hour in total to Him throughout the week. And if you don't have a specific religion you follow, then just take the time to breathe. Take the time to not give a care in the world. You don't have to be worried every second of every day. Reach out to those who mean the most to you This is not hard anymore because of technology. You have no excuse. Life gets busy. We all know that. I live very far away from everyone I know and love, and it's hard to keep in touch with time difference and schedules. Sometimes I go on for weeks without talking to some people, but when I find the time, I message them to see how they're doing. Facebook and Instagram make it very easy to peep in on your friends and family, but writing them more than just a comment can be more meaningful. Emails and messages work. Sometimes a phone call if you know you're both awake (don't go calling someone at 3 AM their time just to say hello, that's just mean). I am a firm believer of "you don't have to talk every day to know you love each other" (unless it's Michael, then he better talk to me every day or he's going to have one angry girl to deal with). But just letting people know you care and you're there for them if they ever feel alone... that really makes a big difference. You never know how much of a difference a "hello, how you doin'?" can make. That's all I guess. It's a lot of random stuff you probably already do but don't think about, but that's just what I do. Breathe, workout, eat yummy foods, and stay in touch with people that I love. I try to avoid the things that I know will make me unhappy or feel bad about myself - I ain't got time fa' dat. What's something that makes you happy? Write your answer below! <3 |
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